Crying on birthdays

My dad turns 60 on Valentine's day. His wife, Martha, has decided to throw him a surprise birthday party in Eugene. She called and left me a message about it this past weekend. Bubba was with me when I received the call, "what the hell does she want?"

Now, I'm sure you're wondering about the back ground. Here's the short sweet answer - there's a huge rift between Bubba and my dad and Martha. Basically both think their relationships with me are inadequate, therefore sticking me in the middle and making me choose -husband or dad? Lame, huh. Anyways, guess who I choose? Hubby.

That was the condensed version. And it all plays into the current drama. Martha expects "the daughters" to whisk down to Oregon for the day, which unfortunately happens to be V-day as well, and spend it with them because my dad is sentimental. Um, not to be selfish, but when's the last time my dad spent a birthday with me? I can't recall a single one in my twenties, let alone very few teenage years. Not to mention all of the contact we have. It makes perfect sense - he sends me all of his email forwards of Republican jokes and I hop right on a plan when his wife beckons. Wow - that sounds harsh, but it's really quite upsetting.

Martha even went as far as to contact my mom. Can you say shit is the fan and drama is getting out of control?!? Martha definitely has the ability to put all sorts of feeling in a blender, pulse them a few beats and then turn it on high and leave it going, pureeing your heart and soul to a bloody pulp.

I feel bad - in a way, which I'm pretty sure was her intention with leaving me several voice mails. But more notice maybe might have worked - and possibly not having the celebration midweek when it's a 10 hour drive? I would drive across the planet for my mom - but when your father is alienated and distant, and hates your hubby... well, I know, I'm not being a selfless daughter.

I'm 100% positive more drama will follow - stay tuned....