Okay - back to the drama so I can lay this one to rest...

Switching coaches is somewhat like breaking up a relationship - you never know how the other party is going to react. It's way easier to initiate the contact with a new coach - not so easy on the break up. Not to mention the soon to be old coach was over seas, as he had been for several months at that point. It was winter during the time he was gone though and I didn't see how my silly questions would actually fit into his world cup adventure, so I didn't ask them. This was a mistake on my behalf because although I had the best of intentions to be mellow and not take it to heart that I was basically paying for his travels and not receiving anything in return, I thought I would be satisfied. But no one was checking in on me - all email correspondence would be about him and asking how the travels are going, etc. Suddenly I found myself in the sponsorship category and lacking the coach/athlete relationship.

The first races of the season started up and I found myself dropped like a rock from the bunch. Rightfully so - I had been doing ZERO intensity all winter and although that built up my aerobic engine, it did nothing for my top end. Sure there's a time and a place for the base mileage - but March came quickly and I had nothing to give. I expressed this dissatisfaction with the coach - and it took a while for the response since he was still over seas. But the writing was on the wall. I tried to make it work - I tried communicating more. But when a friend of mine said she had finally found "the" coach - I decided to do some shopping.

And boy did that open my eyes up to how much you could actually get for $250 a month. Weekly interaction? Custom training plans tailored to me? Someone who actually comes out and watches the races? No passive aggressive behavior? Yet something held me back from immediately making the switch - maybe it was seeded in my childhood relationship with my father, or maybe it was fear of change. I hired them the next day.

But the breakup didn't work out as one would have hoped. The old coach was still traveling and I had emailed him I would like a break. I told him straight up I didn't want to pay $250 for a non-customized training plan, no feedback or interaction, etc. He tried to hold me to another month of payment and I called him on it. I refused to pay him. I told him all of the reasons in hope that he would be able to improve this with his other clients. But instead of taking a complaint as a compliment, he took it personally.

The community we're involved in is small. And this coach is well known since he's been around for so long. His wife is a teammate and has said she knows a little bit of what's going on but doesn't want to get in the middle of it. I respect that - I wouldn't either. But he's got a chip on his shoulder toward me now and it's starting to filter out into the community. I thought we were cool - but apparently his $250 is worth more than a relationship. What a chump.

The reason this is all coming to a head and pouring out of my chest - I recently contacted a promoter at a race and asked about host housing. The promoter was excited and offered his house but asked if the old coach would be joining us as well. I told him I hadn't spoken with him and didn't know. Well said coach responded to promoter saying he and I were in a fight and didn't think it would be a good idea. The promoter called me about it - and I was completely embarrassed. I had no idea we were in a tiff until I found out from someone else in another state. I told the promoter that I no longer used the coach and he apparently took it personally. Luckily the promoter has other options for housing for the coach - and I"m happy to hear we won't be in the same house. But seriously, how old is this guy?

The real catch - it's not like I won't see this guy over and over again, week in and week out. I saw him on Tuesday and did he say one word to me? Nope. What a jack ass. A friend and I were talking about it and we both think I should call him on it in front of a bunch of people. But then I got to thinking about it, and it's kind of sad really. I guess he doesn't know who is real friends are - or at least he doesn't know how to treat them. What a dick. Too bad he burned that bridge.

I missed my 2008 drama goal....

It didn't take long for some drama to develop. And I should have figured it would given the cast of characters involved in my life. It's funny though - the drama didn't develop until after I had severed the ties with said person, but they developed nonetheless and now I have to clean up a little mess.

I don't have much time today to blog about it - but basically I hired said person to provide professional services. Said person decided half way through the year to follow their dreams and compete on a world cup level. I fully applauded their efforts - yet my own needs were not being met. Months went by with little to no contact, yet I continued to pay the $250 a month for said services. As you can imagine, this started to wear on my nerves. Why shell out $250 clams a month for nothing?

Let me dive a little deeper - said person was providing coaching services. We never signed a contract, but it was understood he would provide weekly workouts, feedback, email contact, etc. This was fantastic at first - but then when he decided to pursue other ventures I found myself being shoved to the side, along with other clients and decided enough was enough. Why should I be paying for his other ventures when I wasn't getting my part of the deal?

I'm not a big person on confrontation - and as you could probably predict shit hit the fan and splattered everywhere....

more to come when I have some time to get this off my chest. Duties call!

Howdy

No new drama to report - so sorry for the lack of juicy details.

I hope to be drama free for the remainder of 2008. :)

Crying on birthdays

My dad turns 60 on Valentine's day. His wife, Martha, has decided to throw him a surprise birthday party in Eugene. She called and left me a message about it this past weekend. Bubba was with me when I received the call, "what the hell does she want?"

Now, I'm sure you're wondering about the back ground. Here's the short sweet answer - there's a huge rift between Bubba and my dad and Martha. Basically both think their relationships with me are inadequate, therefore sticking me in the middle and making me choose -husband or dad? Lame, huh. Anyways, guess who I choose? Hubby.

That was the condensed version. And it all plays into the current drama. Martha expects "the daughters" to whisk down to Oregon for the day, which unfortunately happens to be V-day as well, and spend it with them because my dad is sentimental. Um, not to be selfish, but when's the last time my dad spent a birthday with me? I can't recall a single one in my twenties, let alone very few teenage years. Not to mention all of the contact we have. It makes perfect sense - he sends me all of his email forwards of Republican jokes and I hop right on a plan when his wife beckons. Wow - that sounds harsh, but it's really quite upsetting.

Martha even went as far as to contact my mom. Can you say shit is the fan and drama is getting out of control?!? Martha definitely has the ability to put all sorts of feeling in a blender, pulse them a few beats and then turn it on high and leave it going, pureeing your heart and soul to a bloody pulp.

I feel bad - in a way, which I'm pretty sure was her intention with leaving me several voice mails. But more notice maybe might have worked - and possibly not having the celebration midweek when it's a 10 hour drive? I would drive across the planet for my mom - but when your father is alienated and distant, and hates your hubby... well, I know, I'm not being a selfless daughter.

I'm 100% positive more drama will follow - stay tuned....

Just had a scare

Thought someone might have identified me through another link somewhere else - and I erased a post just in case it led back to me. You can never be too careful.

"Don't mettle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup."

Pretty much sums that one up.

Am I a spineless wonder or am I just trying to tone down the drama in my life? I'm toning baby, boy am I toning. It's too small a world not to.

Bunny Boiler

Riding on a local race circuit is fun. It is FUN. I repeat. It Is FUN!
It should be nothing more. What is wrong with people??

(Names of people, companies, stores changed to protect the – innocent and stupid.)

Recently I quit the Generic Corporation cycling team to race with another more competitive team next year.
It did NOT go over well with the "team captain" who I also thought was my friend. She took It personally, made It all about her and how I had betrayed our friendship. All because I wanted to race on another team.
This Isn't the Olympics, right?

Anyway, below is a brief account of what just went down:

Barbie asks If I'm available for "coffee" yesterday and I say of course. I meet w/ her late in the afternoon which Immediately Is suspect but I give her the benefit of the doubt. So we sit down and she says, the reason I wanted to meet with you is two-fold. One aspect is from a friendship perspective and the other is from a team captain perspective.

She said, I've had time to think about everything (And I'm thinking oh, good. She's come to her senses) and I really feel betrayed by you. You betrayed me. Because you were my friend you got things on the team that others did not. (This is absolutely FALSE! But even if it wasn’t, what type of friend keeps tabs on things they do for their friends??) Couching an insult, she goes on to say, I understand not everyone is meant to be a leader. Not everyone knows how to set an example. (Not sure what therapist told her to say that. But I was seriously trying not to laugh.)
This whole round of conversation is really just a repeat of a previous conversation, where I get called names and she climbs up higher on her pedestal of quicksand – so I am extremely uninterested.

I think that about sums it up - there was more said but that’s the gist of it. I don't say a word and she hates it. So she says is there anything you want to say? I said, no not really. Nothing for me has changed. I am still operating from the same place I was when we talked last - a place of distinct separation of friendship and team stuff. We were friends. I thought you were funny and enjoyed hanging out with you. We don't do that now. That is your choice.
She was not pleased with my response - not sure what she was expecting.

Then she moves on to the second phase of the conversation (which was really the ONLY reason she wanted to meet with me.) She slides some photocopied thing across the table - something written up in some two-bit Generic Corporation newspaper or something and says, have you ever read this?
I read it and it says something about Generic Corporation employees can't sell Generic Corporation stuff for profit, etc. I was unimpressed and slid the paper back and said so?

She explodes with; you've NEVER read this before????!! Like it’s some kind of manifest that all employees have read and hold sacred - kind of like, thou shalt not kill. Whatever.
Then she goes on to say, it has come to my attention that a Generic Corporation kit was for sale at Sporting Good Store. I said, yep, I went and sold my old kit a couple weeks ago. Just like I did LAST year and It wasn't a problem! She goes on to say, I called the store and they described you perfectly. To which I say, so what? I just told you I sold it. What's your point?

She says, It Is ILLEGAL for you to sell that kit. WHY did you sell it? And I said, the same reason everyone else does - because kits are expensive and I use the money to go toward another kit. At this point she is quaking and she went on and on about how wrong it was etc. Basically she made me out to be some kind of criminal who knowingly sold stolen goods to Sporting Good Store.

I just looked at her blankly and said, what do you want me to do about it Barbie? And her response was, I want you to go to the store and buy it back. I looked her dead in the eye and said, no, I'm not doing that.
Ok. Then her head really does explode and she is shaking. I said, did I or anyone else on this team sign something that said we wouldn't re-sell these kits? I don't think so. I'm not going to buy it back. She said, well then you are going to have to talk to Asset Management and believe me, you DON'T want to do that.

At this point I'm thinking, you know what, you just backed the wrong person into a corner and also, I think you're bluffing. I'm calling your bluff. And I said, oh really? Who do I need to call? She says, oh they will call YOU. And you and your manager will have to meet with them. And this has nothing to do with your manager does it? I said, no, it doesn't. Who do I meet with?
To which she responds, look, I am trying to give you the nice girl way out. I will give you some time to think It over. You really don't want to go down this road. You have put me in a very, very bad position and I do NOT appreciate it.

I said, well Barbie, you see, I am taking you out of that position. I will handle this myself. Who do I call? She forks over the name. And before I leave I say, you know Barbie, it's very interesting how you tend to make everything about YOU. When I quit the team it was all about YOU. And now this kit thing is all about YOU.

I left the conference room and promptly called the Asset Manager contact - left him voicemail and went home. Then I rang a coworker who knew all about it and went and drank Guinness!!!

The next morning I called the Asset Management guy again and he was friendly as could be and said come on down. Here is the result of that:

Before I even began explaining the situation he said, let me just tell you there is no need for anxiety.
So I gave him the facts and he said there are NO legal parameters around this kind of thing - that I broke no laws and did nothing wrong. He said, you paid $500 for a kit and got $90 back when you re-sold it and that explains intent as well.

He then went on to say that after speaking with Barbie it seemed that she has an emotional attachment to this thing and so I enlightened him by saying yes she does and the reason is because I quit the team this year. Well, I could virtually hear all his cogs clicking into place and then he said, oh, I understand now.
Also he went on to say that Barbie said she feels HURT seeing the Generic Corporation logo being sold in a USED clothing store. Holy crap!! HAVE SOME MORE KOOL-AID, BARBIE! -- And oh by the way, nice way to lay it on thick. Unfortunately it didn't work - now the guy just thinks you're crazy.

He let me know that when he received my voicemail he promptly called Barbie and let her know that he and I would be taking care of this. There was no need for any further involvement on her part.

Anyway, he was a really nice guy - rides bikes a little - showed me a map of where he rode in France, etc.
END of STORY.

Seriously, WTF??
What a bunny boiler.

WTF?

I just visited an old forum haunt I used to frequent when I first started pedaling. It was fun - a lot of the women who contribute are new to two wheeled adventures - some are very experienced, but not many are racers and like to beat their bodies up. Those who do seem to rise to an awe-inspiring level and are given lots of encouragement by other posters to share their stories and knowledge. It's a great thing for cyber space but at the same time, where's the reality in the situation?

It reminds me of Kip from Napoleon Dynamite. "You're just mad because I've been chatting with babes all day!"

Good for the people who have some how managed to find a way to bridge their social woes and can find other people to chat with. But in all reality - are they really serious and can you really find peace and harmony over the web?

Take E. for instance. She started racing a year after I did and subscribed to the same forum. Suddenly she was thrust to the top of the cyber-space ladder and is a guru on all things related to bikes. I found her submitting comments to my light hearted stories about her experiences and how Shimano Ultegra brake levers and shifters help to have lube applied, etc. etc. Ok, well maybe she finds it worthwhile to submit this type of information, but seriously! Who gives a shit?

Ok, that sounded a little harsh, I'll admit. Good for E. for finding a way to connect to the world. Out of curiosity I visited the forum today and queried her posts. She's a frequent flier with over 1,800 posts to date. Um... NERD!

Maybe I'm missing the boat on this...